game face, angel

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Image by Jarek Kowalczyk
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I realize now that I need to ‘put my game face on’ and step up to the challenge of re-connecting with the world at large — even if it’s just going outside my own front door. Fallen angels, so I’ve discovered, can be a bit gun shy when it comes to picking themselves up off the the pavement, shaking off the past - mistakes and all - and learning how to walk instead of fly.  

Flying was cool, but you just never knew when your wings were going to be clipped; but you knew that the great big clippers in the sky were going to catch you one day in mid-flight and your glory days of flying would be over. You would have to walk in a world filled with pain, disaster and despair at every turn and learn to accept the fact that the light isn’t the only game in town. There truly is a dark side to life.  Not to just overcome, but to understand, respect and learn to live with. It goes something like this:

fallen angels
we fall from grace
we land on our heads
on our hearts, on our faces
such pain, such shame
such a bitter taste
our lives, like our dreams
shattered, scattered and displaced
oh, what a waste if we don’t resuscitate…

Resuscitate, indeed…  So, I started this blog to witness with my own eyes that my heart, though badly bruised, could still feel a thing or two about love.  That my mind, shredded into enough pieces to make a puzzle proud, could still produce language to describe what my battered heart was actually feeling.  I started this blog so that I could have creative time alone with myself — but then I made it public!?!  Hmm… what does that tell you — tell me? Once an angel, always an angel, always a need to flit, flutter and glide about, assisting, offering, sharing, serving, needing to give something of value to life and to the human beings who so courageously live it.

As those of you who have read my blog already know, I have a very serious relationship with the passion, intimacy and spirituality of romantic love. It’s not the only way I experience or express love, but it is certainly an aspect that has both captured and captivated me for the past 13 years. Love has a power we cannot command, direct, disguise or demand. We can neither summons it nor wish it away.  It comes of it’s own will, informing us the direction our heart should take or the person whose love we should awaken. We are the recipients, the keepers, the bearers and the givers of love’s powerful embrace.  We are not in charge of love, love charges us.  It’s invasive and imbuing; it’s constraining and conducive; it’s allowing and alarming; it’s all — or nothing at all.

That being said, love is my god, my goddess and my glory.  I live every moment to feel and express it — one moment more.  It’s also my teacher and my task maker.  It shows me the magic of a life lived with it and the devastation of a life lived without.  I say it ’shows’ me because love has no past tense. It either is or isn’t in every moment; it never was or wasn’t. We are either loving or we’re not loving. Who we ‘loved’ in the past we still love in the present — or not.  How we love can have a tense or a description but, that we love, happens only in present time. (Just a note: the part about love and tense, just came to me as I was typing this.  I have yet to ponder it deeply, but I do believe we will find that it does hold up under scrutiny).

Okay, where to from here?  Game Face Angel is going to start blogging for the people.  Not just poetry, but actual real life communication.  Also,  I have decided to start another blog for my spiritual work.  I’ve learned that it’s very important to keep the creative and the spiritual separate so that each can have it’s own voice and a place to express it. The spiritual blog will be called “The Path: A Journey Into the Light” and will have channeled material, teachings, podcast lectures and other good stuff from my years as a spiritual leader/teacher of The Path.

I appreciate each one of you that stop and take a moment to read this blog. I don’t know who you all are, but I do know that you are and I value your presence. Drop me a line if you feel so inclined (damn poet!); I’d love to hear a word or two from you

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Filed under love, relationship, spiritualty, writing

Tags: spirituality, writing, poetry, the path, love, relationship, blogging, fallen angels, game face